> ENTER NAME: Thelma Threeflower
You are now known as THELMA THREEFLOWER.
Turning your attention back to your TRAVEL AUTHORIZATION FORM, you tell Luize you don’t know how to spell your name. She says it’s okay and that people spell her name wrong all the time.
Looks like you and Louise will be waiting to get through security for a while anyway. The DREAM WORLD DEFENSE AUTHORITY sure takes this stuff seriously! But, unless you want to take a MASSIVE DETOUR, you have to pass through the DREAM WORLD to get to Gensokyo.
If only the MYSTIC SQUARE CAVE was still open!
> Be Patchouli again.
A few minutes ago, Sakuya graciously relocated you to this modest dressing room backstage. Apparently, she had to travel all the way back to the mansion while time was stopped to get a change of clothes for herself, and brought you back a set as well, although you already had the ones in your inventory - a rare instance of you being more prepared for HOUSEHOLD ACCIDENTS than her. Therefore, you now have a clean set of pajamas as well as the spare set in your INVENTORY.
Sakuya left, saying she was going to go check on Remilia. You forgot to give her back her sunglasses, so you are holding onto those as well. You don’t know where the fairy maids are.
You have just finished changing. You wish this room had something to lie down on, because you’re feeling pretty tired and could really use a nap. Oh well, it probably isn’t a good idea to sleep here anyway.
What will you do?
> Patchouli: Use Backup Candy.
Thinking quickly, you consume a piece of BACKUP CANDY!!
BACKUP CANDY is primarily used to restore morale in times of despair. Aside from being unique in that it is the only item in one’s inventory that does not require a turn to use, each type of candy carries different secondary effects; in your case, your GOOD & PLENTY regenerates a bit of HP and ENERGY, which helps with your pathetic VIM stat. The type of BACKUP CANDY one equips is of critical importance to their build! (Obsessive min-maxers will often despair that their most optimal candy is not one they like; you are fortunate in that this SOFT, CHEWY CANDY is your favorite in addition to being an effective choice.)
You receive JUST ENOUGH ENERGY to let loose one more verse!!
You have defeated THE NOTORIOUS LY-PRI in a rap battle! You gain +5 STREET CRED. She’s right though - you barely pulled that one off. You probably wouldn’t have won if you hadn’t thrown her off guard.
Unfortunately, you are now FULLY EXHAUSTED.
— malebolgeTourist [MT] started babbling at devilsAdvocate [DA] at 3:52 —
MT: hey, how’s the party ^^
DA: it’s awesome
DA: im watchin some tanuki in a drinkin match with an oni
DA: i cant believe how well shes doin
MT: how late do you think it’ll run?
DA: lol its an oni party for fs sake
DA: prob way past midnight
MT: so if i were to get there around nine
MT: there’d still be plenty of time to party, huh
DA: o shit
DA: r u already on ur way??
MT: of course not. we’re not allowed to go to gensokyo, remember?
MT: i’m just saying
MT: hypothetically ^^
MT: if i were on my way i’d get there around nine
DA: ohh i getcha
DA: well i will hypothetically keep an eye out 4 u
MT: and, hypothetically
MT: i’d be bringing a friend!
MT: she’s a fairy I met while travelling
MT: she’s cute. you’d like her ^^
DA: ok sounds hypothetically good
DA: hold on SS is tryin to talk 2 me
— sideshowSorceress [SS] started babbling at devilsAdvocate [DA] at 3:54 —
SS: Koa, you said you were going to a big party today, right?
DA: yeah its huge
DA: like everyone is here
SS: Is the Yama attending, by any chance?
DA: dont think so
DA: havent seen her and it doesnt seem like her kinda thing
DA: unless she wanted 2 yell at people a lot
DA: her shinigami is here
DA: captain fatass drunktits
SS: Do you think you could talk to her and see if she can get the Yama to contact us?
DA: dont think so
DA: she was in the vip area i cant get in there
SS: Can you ask them to give her the message, then?
DA: uhh i guess
DA: is this about the thing you were talkin about earlier
SS: Yes. It’s sort of urgent and we can’t get ahold of anyone about it.
DA: how serious is this
SS: Pretty serious. We think we might need to tell mom about this.
DA: oh shit really?
DA: that is serious
DA: ok ill go do it
SS: Thanks, I appreciate it.
> Be that midboss fairy for a sec.
You are ERROR: NAME NOT FOUND, THE ERROR: TITLE NOT FOUND. Although you were originally a fairy from Gensokyo, you have been travelling far and wide outside it for many years now.
You possess the ABILITY TO TRAVEL. This is the kind of vaguely-worded ability that has the potential for COMPLETE BULLSHIT, but you are just a dumb fairy and you don’t have the creativity to abuse it. Instead, you use it for its implied purpose of travelling to strange, exciting, and OCCASIONALLY DANGEROUS places. You can’t really remember a lot of the places you’ve been, but you’ve had fun doing it!
You love to dress up, and frankly your fashion sense is KIND OF TERRIBLE. You just sort of throw on whatever you think looks neat at the time.
Lately you’ve been travelling with your friend LOUISE, who shares your PASSION FOR TOURISM. She has been taking you on a tour around Makai for the last few weeks, and now the two of you are headed to Gensokyo for a big underground party. So exciting!
We don’t really have a reason to be you yet, but let’s just get one thing out of the way before we get back to Patch. For future reference, what should we call you?
> ENTER NAME: _
> ENTER NAME: Rengeteki
That’s a dumb name. It doesn’t even sound right in Japanese. Pick a better one!
> ENTER NAME: _
[ I wanted to do a video this time, but technical difficulties D: ]
> Patchouli: Step up.
You don’t have a choice. You have to make this happen. Anything short of victory will be devastating to your pride!
You wordlessly approach the stage, focusing on controlling your breathing. Your own lungs are your biggest enemy here. Stay calm, stay focused, and you can win, you tell yourself. Your heart is starting to beat more quickly, but you don’t let any of that show.
You really wish you could’ve changed back into your normal outfit before this happened, but you can’t show the slightest bit of hesitation. You have to make it clear that you give ABSOLUTELY NO FUCKS. You can’t show any weakness. Especially not in front of the oni.
Oh dear. You’ve never spoken in front of this many people before, much less performed.
You should’ve stayed home. You don’t want to be here.
Oh no! You realize you have been afflicted with STAGE FRIGHT!
No! Focus! You are not some stuttering librarian moeblob. You are not some spineless doormat waifu to be plastered on the front of some slimy social reject’s dakimakura. You are PATCHOULI KNOWLEDGE. You speak in the oldest of arcane languages. You break reality’s back over the knee of your spoken word. A mere rap battle should be nothing to you.
You desperately try to string together some rhymes in your head. Something, anything.
It’s no use.
Not a single word comes to mind.
> Patchouli: Lose yourself.
Sadly, no amount of willpower will overcome the weakness of the flesh.
[ This rap battle once again written courtesy of theshim! ]
> Patchouli: Watch.
You really don’t know what to make of this. She’s already up on stage, so you can’t talk her out of it. You’re not sure you want to either. You find yourself paralyzed with morbid curiousity. Just what is she planning to do up there?
> Patchouli: Engage schadenfreude.
You FAIL TO ENGAGE. You really do not want to see Sakuya fail here, because the SDM’s reputation is on the line. You wish you could help somehow, but sadly there is not a single spell in your repetoire that can help a drunk maid rap better. All you can do is watch the trainwreck happen.
The beat starts, and Sakuya unleashes her flow like a tidal wave on a shitty sand castle.
Wait, what? Her timing is a little odd, but this is completely different from earlier. Was she just holding back?
Aha! Now you get it. The reason her pace is strange is because she’s stopping time to think about her next line! It’d be easy for anyone to come up rhymes that way. Of course she wouldn’t have tried that trick on you earlier; she must have known you’d figure it out right away.
You’re not going to call her on it, of course. If the crowd buys it, it’s in your favor. However, you do wonder how much time it’s actually taking her to come up with her lines.
[ I am sad that, due to time constraints once again, I cannot animate Sakuya doing the moonwalk. ]
The crowd applauds Sakuya, which is a load off your shoulders. However, Lyrica heads out on stage to interview her.
Lyrica asks Sakuya where she learned to rap like that. Sakuya explains that she picked it up from you. Lyrica spots you in the crowd and exclaims, “PATCHOULI? PATCHOULI KNOWLEDGE IS A RAPPER?”. Sakuya confirms, and ever humble, admits that you are much better than her. While a nice gesture, you don’t like where this is going.
Lyrica says that she has to SEE THIS FOR HERSELF, and challenges you to come onstage for a RAP BATTLE!! The crowd goes nuts.
You don’t really think you’re ready to make a public debut, especially against a professional musician like Lyrica, but if you chicken out here, they might never give you the time of day again. What do you do?
[ today’s rap submitted courtesy of Edible! ]
> Patchouli: Ascertain legitimacy of items.
THESE LOOK LEGIT. You can tell from some of the sparkles and from seeing quite a few magic items in your time. The immense number of points you’ve sank into MAGICTECH allows you to identify most enchantments at a glance.
Besides, oni are honest to a fault. It’s pretty unlikely you’d get scammed by one, especially one who seems to have as much UNBRIDLED ENTHUSIASM for running a shop as this one does.
> Patchouli: Purchase Unidentified Spellbook.
First order of business! You promptly acquire the UNIDENTIFIED SPELLBOOK. You look at a few more pages of it to see if you can make some sense of the thing.
The text is pretty small print, so there’s a lot of content in this book. You think the text looks vaguely middle-eastern in origin, but you don’t know any of those languages so you have no idea if that’s what it actually is. Spellbooks from that part of the world tend to be on subjects of DEMONS AND SPIRITS or NUMEROLOGY, which makes them kind of a pain in the ass to work with, but interesting nonetheless!
You add the spellbook to your inventory. The book is rather heavy, but you have a PASSIVE ABILITY that dramatically reduces the weight of books for the purposes of inventory size. You can easily carry around quite a few of them.
> Patchouli: Purchase Ballet Ring.
You ask the oni merchant if you can give it a try before buying it. He agrees. Upon equipping the innocuous-looking piece of jewelry, your mind swims with imagery of GRACEFUL YET POWERFUL MOVEMENTS.
Stricken with an INSATIABLE URGE to dance, you promptly perform an ACROBATIC FUCKING PIROUETTE of exquisite beauty.
However, this SUDDEN SURGE OF SKILLFUL SPRYNESS is far too much for your pathetic VIM score to handle. Your muscles and lungs burn as you recover from your short-lived athletics. You are in no shape to make regular use of this item right now, but it’s certainly one of of the more potent body enhancers you’ve encountered. You decide to purchase it anyway for further study.
With this item equipped, you can perform some IMPRESSIVE FEATS OF DEXTERITY, although the pain will render you immobile for a few moments afterward.
> Patchouli: Purchase Hate Potion.
The meddling you could do with kind of this thing is closer to Remi’s territory, but the potential applications are endless.
> Patchouli: Purchase Backup Candy Backup.
You buy and equip the small pouch. You now have FOUR BACKUP CANDY SLOTS!! This item seems incredibly overpowered for the price. You’re actually a bit worried that you might be breaking the game and making it TOO EASY for yourself.
You mull over all the new BACKUP CANDY configurations you are now capable of. You could have TWO GOODS and TWO PLENTIES, or maybe you could even do something crazy like THREE PLENTIES! Oh man, now that you think about it, you could even have FOUR DIFFERENT CANDIES in each slot. The possibilities are overwhelming. You’ll just have to experiment.
> Patchouli: Purchase Sparkly Hairclips.
You buy the bag of crappy hairclips and hand it off to the fairy maids. They are overjoyed to receive it.
Removing their STANDARD ISSUE MOB CAPS, they try out the hairclips. For some reason, after doing so they seem to acquire a VAGUE SENSE OF INDIVIDUALITY. If they could just pick up a fourth fairy for their group, you figure they could be the stars of some generic shitty moe show or something. It almost makes you want to learn their names. Almost.
Sakuya makes note of the fact that you have been very nice to the fairies today. Actually, now that you think about it, despite their VAST INCOMPETENCE you don’t generally give the fairies a hard time, especially compared to your relationship with YOUR FAMILIAR. You wonder why that is. It’s probably because you know they’re too stupid to do their jobs even when they try, so you cut them some slack. Yeah, that’s probably it.
You have gained a few FAIRY AFFECTION POINTS.
You are shocked to learn that you have AFFECTION POINTS! You forgot those existed. When was the last time you got any?
You are even more shocked when you realize this means you have a Fairy Route. Why do you have a Fairy Route? Why do you have routes for Kirisame and Kawashiro, for that matter!? Do they just throw everybody you know on here?
> Patchouli: Check status and inventory.
While checking your stats, you note that apparently the Blue Ribbon has a 1% chance to summon a chicken when you get hit. Interesting.
Looking closely, it looks like there’s room for up to twenty slots of Backup Candy, but items or passives that give you even one extra slot are incredibly rare. You really scored big today!
> Patchouli: Approach stage.
With that all sorted, you make your way towards the stage in the back of the enormous cavern that contains FORMER HELL’S SHOPPING DISTRICT. Surely there will be a changing room backstage that you can use to switch back into your pajamas and rid yourself of this disgraceful dress. Sakuya does not know why you are headed in this direction, and appears to be too tipsy to care.
As you approach, you begin to feel the rumble of heavy bass under your feet. There is a small but active audience at the stage, gathered around some large speakers; and sitting at a booth a booth up top, you are surprised to see none other than the well-known DJ KISSY MAY. She appears to be holding a public FREESTYLE RAP SESSION! With her is…isn’t that the youngest Prismriver?
You look on at some of the bolder fans that have stepped up to the stage.
Amateurs. You could destroy them. They’re just having fun, regardless, so no need to get your bloomers in a twist.
You decide to go get changed, and come back and watch a bit more afterwards.
OH SHIT SAKUYA WENT UP THERE.
[ sorry for the ~words words words~ that looked a lot smaller in notepad D: ]
> Patchouli: Consider change of clothes.
Yeah, this is getting old fast. However, you’ll need to find somewhere private to change, and you’ll be damned if you settle for any of the restrooms around here. You glance towards the large stage set up at the back of the cavern, and come up with a good idea. There are probably some decent dressing rooms backstage that you could sneak (or fight) into. It doesn’t look very busy over there right now, so you drag Sakuya and the fairies in that direction.
Along the way, you pass by a few of the stalls set up for the party and can’t help but notice a small shop selling a bunch of random magical knick-knacks. You poke your head in and have a quick look at what’s for sale, making note of a FEW INTERESTING THINGS.
[ I wanted to animate him dancing like the Secret of Mana merchant, but alas, no time, so you’ll just have to imagine it. ]
BAG OF HOLDING: ¥30000
This ubiquitous magic item has a much larger interior than exterior, and renders any object placed within weightless. In short, it dramatically increases your INVENTORY SPACE. While this object might sound like it is perfect for you, the bag itself is somewhat heavy and thus exceeds your weight capacity. Too bad, because the price is kind of a steal. Sorry!
RING OF BALLET: ¥25000
This ring magically enhances one’s ability to perform ballet moves. You wonder what kind of BATSHIT INSANE BUILD someone was working towards when they had this made. However, you are mildly curious if the acrobatic properties of this ring can be put to a more utilitarian use (preferably while nobody is looking).
SOVEREIGN GLUE: ¥10000
This ARCANE SUPER GLUE allows you to glue together any two objects in a permanent fashion. The exact strength of this particular variety of glue is unknown; any attempts to forcibly separate the glued objects has always resulted in the objects breaking before the bond. The glue sets pretty quickly, and is notorious for being EXTREMELY LIKELY to produce TERRIBLE AND/OR EMBARRASSING ACCIDENTS. Any wizard worth their salt knows that you DO NOT CARRY SOVEREIGN GLUE WITHOUT UNIVERSAL SOLVENT.
UNIVERSAL SOLVENT: ¥4000
This aforementioned magical oil has the unique property of completely and instantly destroying the bonds of any sticky substance it touches. It is completely harmless otherwise. Any wizard worth their salt knows that you must KEEP THIS STUFF AWAY FROM YOUR SPELLBOOKS AT ALL COSTS. A destroyed binding on a spellbook can have unpredictable and almost certainly unpleasant results.
HATE POTION: ¥3000
Anyone who drinks this potion will be consumed with INTENSE HATE for the next person they see. You are interested in this purely to run tests on it and find out how somebody could’ve fucked up a batch of LOVE POTIONS badly enough to create this.
HAGAKURE ORB: ¥20000
This is a small blue CRYSTAL BALL designed specifically for FORTUNE TELLING. When asked a question, it will provide a STARTLINGLY SPECIFIC ANSWER. However, the prediction will only be correct exactly 20% of the time, the kind of thing a DOUCHEBAG AUTHOR would have all sorts of fun with. It’s rather light and seems like it would break easily.
UNIDENTIFIED SPELLBOOK: ¥10000
It’s a spellbook! But it’s written in some kind of crazy glowing rune language you’ve never seen before. Seems interesting, though translating it would be a pain in the ass. You can’t really get any sense of what subject the book is supposed to be about, but the diagrams indicate it is definitely for wizardly purposes.
The description of this magical relic indicates that it can be used to wield a ONE-HANDED WEAPON with TWO HANDS. Is that a typo? You don’t really get the point of this item.
BACKUP CANDY BACKUP: ¥1000
This tiny pouch, easily attached to the inside of any of your clothes, grants you two additional slots for pieces of BACKUP CANDY. Amazing! (Candy not included.)
BLUE CANDLE: ¥10000
This candle, which never fully melts, produces some funky blue mood lighting. It actually looks pleasant and would probably be nice somewhere in the library. It can also shoot a little burst of flame on command, but you have to walk around with it for a little while to recharge it after each shot. This feature is not particularly useful to you for OBVIOUS REASONS.
EVERCLEAN NAPKIN: ¥15000
This is a fancy cloth napkin that will neatly obliterate any offending residue it wipes up, keeping it in PRISTINE CONDITION at all times. While it seems kind of neat, you cannot think of any real use for it offhand. Sakuya seems interested in this item.
SPARKLY HAIRCLIPS: ¥1000
A bundle of sparkly hairclips, the kind of which a group of GENERIC ANIME HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS would wear to make themselves visually distinguishable from their peers. The sparklyness appears to be the only enchantment. You have no use for these cheap pieces of crap, but the maid fairies seem interested in this item.
Would you like to buy any of these items?
[ Let’s get this small bit out of the way before I post the full update. ]
> Patchouli: Consult with Sakuya.
You guess you’ll have to put up with her for a bit. You welcome your ALCOHOLIC SALVATION with open arms, and wave Nitori over.
> Patchouli: Examine Nitori.
This is NITORI KAWASHIRO, a fairly typical kappa that Hakurei and Kirisame interact with regularly. Like all kappa, she is reclusive, obnoxious, and accident-prone. However, Nitori is a gifted mechanical engineer; you can see her skills being useful at some point, which is why you attempt to tolerate her.
You met Kawashiro during the SUBTERRANEAN ANIMISM INCIDENT, when Kirisame introduced her to you and Margatroid to help with procuring resources and handling MISSION CONTROL for sending her to explore the underground. Ever since, she seems to have added you to her PAINFULLY SHORT list of friends, and she now drops by your library unannounced from time to time to borrow books and make you listen to the status reports of her innumerable projects. Margatroid appears to have avoided the same fate by cranking her CREEPYNESS up to 11 whenever Kawashiro stopped by. Clever woman.
The worst of it, though, is that you have unfortunately found out that kappas are HUGE BLABBERMOUTHS when it comes to local gossip, and their SOCIAL AWKWARDNESS means they have plenty of it bottled up at any given time. You always make sure to have a magical experiment “scheduled” so you can cut her short when she gets going, and send her on her way.
> Ichirin: Interrupt.
YOU TOTALLY WILL. You make a mental note of this.
> Patchouli: Suffer Nitori’s presence.
Kawashiro immediately makes a subject of your TASTELESS REGALIA.
This forces her to back down, since she is obviously in no position to challenge one’s knowledge of WHAT’S “IN”. Your POKER FACE CLASS FEATURE is really pulling its weight here. (Wizards need to look cool and knowledgable all the time, so it wouldn’t do if they had some STUPID-ASS SMIRK while interacting with the common rabble.)
Suddenly, you realize that Kawashiro is the first person at this party to make fun of your outfit. It occurs to you that you might actually be pulling off this look, and coming across as some sort of ECCENTRIC DIVA to those that don’t know you. This makes you want to throw up a little.
You quickly turn your attention back to your SOCIALLY MALADJUSTED ACQUAINTANCE, and engage her with some basic small talk on subjects that will make her uncomfortable.
You allow Kawashiro to stumble while playing VERBAL HOPSCOTCH and make excuses while you enjoy your beer. Eventually, you mercifully release her from her agony by asking her about HER WORK instead. This is a subject about which she will blather on endlessly if allowed, thus permitting you to tune her out while sinking into your BLISSFUL MIRE OF INSOBRIETY.
You watch the maid fairies’ BASKET OF CHEESESTICKS like a hawk, for only when it is empty will you be able to leave this dreadful place. Slowly, slowly, the seconds tick by as the fairies enjoy their meal of deep-fried mozzarella. As the kappa rambles on, the ARTERY-ASSAULTING APPETIZER gradually disappears from its basket, like grains of sand flowing from a greasy hourglass.
After what seems like an eternity, the fairies are finished and your second beer has nearly run dry, as has your patience with Kawashiro.
Hey, you didn’t lie. Not even the Yama can fault you on that one. Her obvious crush on Kirisame is pretty pathetic. Actually, ANY crush on Kirisame is pretty pathetic. How is that thieving rat so popular?
Back to the task at hand. Now would be a good time to relocate. You turn your attention back to Sakuya.
Oh god damnit. How can somebody so tall be such a lightweight?
You leave the bar and head back up to the street, where the party seems to have gotten even busier as more people arrive. You are accompanied by a MILDLY INEBRIATED SAKUYA and THREE STUFFED FAIRIES. What will you do next?
> Patchouli: Seek fellow magicians.
You briefly go over the short list of MAGIC-INCLINED INDIVIDUALS you are familiar with in your head.
Much like her red-white associate, Kirisame isn’t invited to the party. That won’t stop her from coming if she finds out about it, but there’s no need to look for her - if she shows up, she will certainly make her presence known.
If there are no humans here, then Margatroid definitely won’t be coming either. Despite being one herself, she rarely associates with other youkai. You suspect she just doesn’t want to let go of her humanity (and that’s why she’ll always be a second-rate magician).
Who else is there? That buddhist monk is probably around, but according to Kirisame, trying to get her to talk about magic is like pulling teeth. Apparently she doesn’t like that part of her image. Too bad, you could definitely benefit from some of her knowledge of body-strengthening magic.
Man, Gensokyo’s magicians are a BUNCH OF CHUMPS. It really says a lot when Marisa Kirisame is the best person around to JIVE ABOUT WITCHCRAFT with. You guess you have to work with what you have, though, if you ever want to get a half-decent coven going in this damn fantasy land. You wish that cackling ghost was still around. She really knew her shit. Granted, she was a PRETTY TERRIBLE PERSON, but hey, aren’t we all?
> Patchouli: Perform magical girl transformation into normal clothes.
You would need to invest in the MAHOU SHOUJO branch of your MAGICTECH SKILL TREE to use this ability. Or get FASHIONTECH, but who would waste points in that?
> Patchouli: Examine shops.
You’ve got 50,000 yen burning a hole in your pocket, so you have a look around at what’s for sale in the stalls lining the streets. Aside from the obvious abundance of stands selling fried food and booze, there are also a good number of small shops selling random junk.
The oni love challenges, so naturally there are quite a few carnival-esque games as well. These in particular have caught the attention of the fairy maids, but they are far too timid to go wandering away from you and Sakuya (mostly Sakuya). You admit you’d like to give them a whirl yourself, if only to show up the oni running the stands. Though, even if you were to leverage a bit of your ARCANE MUSCLE, it probably wouldn’t be that easy; it’s not like the oni are incompetent when it comes to magic. You’ll have to pick your battles carefully.
For now, though, you’ve changed your mind. You’re a bit tired from the trip and you would definitely like something to drink.
Sakuya offers to go get something for you, but you suggest finding a place off the main street to sit down and eat instead. She agrees, and leaves it to you to pick the place.
You promptly locate the darkest, dankest pub in town.
> Patchouli: Order a beer.
You have a seat at the bar and order a beer. Better not hit the bottle too hard. Yet.
The fairies order a basket of cheesesticks to share. Sakuya takes out her money, but you offer to pay their way (which is a nice gesture, but pointless since it’s all Remi’s money anyway). Sakuya attempts to order some tea, but when informed that NONBOOZE is not sold here, decides on a small piña colada and a Monte Cristo.
The beer is actually pretty good. It’s got that old-fashioned wooden keg taste, which you haven’t had in about a hundred years. Of course, if anyone served subpar alcohol in a city like this, they would be run out of town pretty quickly.
Suddenly, out of the corner of your eye, you think you see someone familiar…
Shit. She saw you.
Ugh it’s Kawashiro
Doesn’t she have any friends
> Check Achievement List.
It appears most of the achievements are hidden, since otherwise SPOILERS would be involved.
However, there are a number of more general achievements listed. You look a few of them over.
> Patchouli: Gauge reaction.
Unfortunately, it appears everyone’s efforts were wasted. Nobody was watching!! It looks like they’re all paying attention to something further up the street.
You try to get a look at what the fuss is about.
It seems the Lunarians have beaten you to the punch! They arrived just before you did and got all the attention for themselves. Remi does not look one bit pleased.
Looks like at least one person was paying attention, though.
Here she is, the monstrous YUUGI HOSHIGUMA, leader of the oni. Not as big as Kirisame exaggerated, but easily the biggest person you’ve ever seen in Gensokyo. Guess they’re not all runts like Ibuki.
Hoshiguma compliments your entrance. “You must be Remilia Scarlet,” she says. Remi confirms and cordially thanks her for the invitation.
They engage in a FRIENDLY HANDSHAKE.
Oh, Remi. Not even here five minutes and she’s already starting shit. But it says a lot that she can pull something like that off - the number of people in Gensokyo that can withstand the strength of an oni can probably be counted on one hand.
Hoshiguma tells her that she’s heard Remi is quite a bigshot among the youkai, so she’s prepared a place for her at the VIP Table. Remilia seems quite pleased at the special attention. She tells the rest of you that she’ll go exchange some PLEASANTRIES (i.e. trash talk) with the other VIPs, and meet back up with you later.
After Remi departs, the rest of you discuss your plans. Meiling says she’s going to follow the music and HIT THE DANCE FLOOR, while your familiar says she’s going BAR HOPPING to look for some cool people to hang out with.
You are left alone with Sakuya and the fairy maids. Sakuya asks if you’d like to look around the party together.
You admit you could go for a drink yourself, but for now you’d prefer to be on your toes, what with all the CRAFTY ONI about. What will you do?
> Patchouli: Arrive.
You arrive at FORMER HELL’S SHOPPING DISTRICT to see a bustling crowd enjoying the festivities below. It’s even more crowded than you anticipated, and quite loud. Neither of these are particularly appealing qualities in a party for you. Too late to turn back now, though!
Remilia speaks up, announcing that the entrance you’re all about to make will MAKE OR BREAK your first impressions among the underground youkai. Remilia orders everyone to GO FORTH AND ACQUIRE POPULARITY, and STRUT FOR ALL YOU’RE WORTH.
> [Ѕ] Patchouli: Strut.
[ linking directly to video because tumblr’s video player is awful and I can’t put it on Youtube because of the song. ]